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Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Is It Love?

Writer : Unknown. Please email us.

How do I know if I am in love, you wonder? What if it's just an infatuation that will burn itself out or just some physical chemistry that will be short lived?

Here are some things to ask yourself. Answering these things thoughtfully and honestly will help you know if you are in love.

The first question to ask yourself, if you're thinking, "How do I know if I am in love?" is "Would I have the strength to let him or her go if I knew it was the best thing for my partner?" In other words, if you were to find yourself embarking on a career that would take you to a place where your partner has expressed she'd be miserable, would you be strong enough to end the relationship, knowing that if you didn't she'd try to tag along and try to be happy? Such a circumstance might be your army career transfer to Anchorage, when your partner suffers from SADD. You can't do much about your army career. If you would be willing to tell her you can't see her anymore so that she'd find someone who would join her in a hot sunny climate, then you may well be in love.

Another question to ask yourself, if you're wondering, "How do I know if I am in love?" is "Would I be willing to wait for her or him if she says she is not ready to have sex with me yet?" If your answer is "Heck no, I need my sex life," then it's not love.

Another question that would be very important in your determination of whether you are in love is "Would I stop feeling the same way about this handsome man if he got fat or bald?" or "Would I still want to be with this voluptuous, beautiful woman if she gained fifty pounds and turned gray?" The fact is that those things have a better than even chance of occurring in a long term relationship. If you're not able to say, and convinced yourself that it's true, that no matter what she or he looks like on the outside, you'll still love what he or she is on the inside, then you're not in love, and in certainly doesn't bode well for your future together.

 If you're thinking "How do I know if I am in love?" ask yourself what dreams of yours, if any, you'd be willing to give up, or set aside temporarily to help your partner fulfill hers or his? If the answer is none, not only aren't you in love, but you might want to wonder about your standing as a member of the human race. Love is about compromise, and, in fact, sometimes it's about being happier making your partner's wishes come true and seeing her or his happiness than seeing your own dreams fulfilled.

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